the pizza guy is gonna put tonight on his résumé

i made this post about the oscars and the pizza guy but now i’m sure that 95% of the ppl reblogging it now are thinking i fucked a pizza guy when i did not there has been a grave misunderstanding here my friends




Wait a minute…

I have been laughing at this for hours now…

So, true story. The woman in this photo is Kendra Kaplan. Her husband was in Iraq for twelve months but the military has this thing called leave. Some of us may recognize the concept from old episodes of Star Trek. In this photo she is five months pregnant after conceiving her second child during her husband’s leave. That envelope in her hand is the ultrasound results. She waited for him to come home to find out if it was a girl or a boy.

There’s been several articles about it.The photo resulted in this woman receiving so much hate mail, from both internet cut-ups and the actual media, that she even took a paternity test and provided proof of her husband’s leave schedule. Her real life friends have stopped talking to her over these rumors.  

Oh, and by the way, that baby bump is a two year old by now. People are still shitting on this woman over a nasty internet meme two years later.

So in short, you’re mocking a faithful wife for something that isn’t any of our damn business anyway and has long since been disproven. 

Good job Internet.

(Source: itscalledfashionlookitup)

(Source: weheartit.com)

(Source: unpunkish)

"I hope they ask about me & I hope you tell them you fucked up."

u deserve a nice boy who texts u back and buys u tacos and doesn’t kiss other girls behind ur back and who makes u laugh and thinks ur funny

(Source: officialbeyonceknowles)



Is anyone else completely terrified by the concept that you could, someday, meet someone who actually genuinely wants to spend the rest of their life in love with you?

(Source: makepieswakethedead)


Their friendship is perfection

Their friendship is perfection

Their friendship is perfection

Their friendship is perfection

Their friendship is perfection


Their friendship is perfection


if you ever feel awkward about something you say just remember that one time jamie benn was asked who his dream date would be with and he answered “uhh, that’s a tough one. my mom.” and you just don’t come back from that 

"Even if we’re married for 23 years,
I still want you to flirt with me."
— A novel written by me. (via princessariel2323)
Seguin haters are literally the most annoying fucking people on this god damn fucking planet. How about you come up with actual fucking evidence that shows that he’s the asshole you portray him to be. He didn’t blow his contract up his fucking nose. He didn’t fuck Horton’s wife. He didn’t have security guards outside of his fucking door. THE BRUINS set him up to fail for expecting a 19-20 year old to have the world on his shoulders and carry it and not fall from time to time. THE BRUINS didn’t put him in Providence to help him mature and prove himself. THE BRUINS didn’t put him at center which is his natural position. THE BRUINS are the reason why Tyler is in Dallas instead of Boston. That is why we lost the in the Semi’s last year because the guy we needed had his ass parked on his couch in his new home instead of in Boston. Stop making Tyler the fucking scapegoat because you look like a fucking moron if you do. Tyler didn’t ask to fucking leave Chiarelli traded him. And now it will be a decision that hopefully gets ChiaPet fired. I’m seriously starting to get sick of the Bruins just because of all the bullshit and the stories that fans, the media, and the front office will come up with to degrade a player. They sound like a dumbass guy who breaks up with his girlfriend because they think she’s annoying and then makes her out to be the asshole to justify it in their mind that they made the right decision. This is the most unprofessional team in all of professional sports.


disagree with the trash talk on Bruins professionalism, but finally a good post about Segs’ trade and the lame excuses that have been made.

I agree with Reyne but still

(Source: ksmith56)


do she got the booty


she dooo



Reblog if you want a terrible, 3 sentence fan fiction in your ask, based on your url


y’all are like “ooh everyone is beautiful” “ooh everyone deserves to feel hot” and then three seconds later you’re making fun of people who cover their acne with makeup and people who haven’t mastered winged eyeliner yet like grow the hell up you don’t get to pick and choose times to be body positive

Anonymous Asked
QuestionWhat's so bad about periods Answer


  • Blood comes out of your vagina for anywhere from 3-7 days
  • That blood you lose can be around 4 tablespoons to a cup
  • a cup of blood, vaginal mucus, and endometrial tissue
  • You get cramps that will make you cry. You can vomit and/or pass out from them
  • You will get horrible mood swings
  • You get headaches
  • Backaches
  • Your breasts hurt so bad sometimes you can’t even touch them
  • You get acne everywhere
  • Your actual vagina could be sore
  • Your feel constantly tired
  • You have a constant fear of soaking through your pad/tampon
  • You can’t lay a certain way in bed
  • You take pill after pill and it still doesn’t help
  • You bloat and gain weight
  • You might have anemia (iron deficiency) which can not clot your blood causing so much blood loss it’ll be deadly
  • You never feel full
  • Everything irritates you
  • You will cry a lot
  • Once you get up in the morning, your center of gravity has shifted and all the blood settling in you during the night will now rush out of you causing you to clench your legs tightly to avoid leaking
  • You get made fun of for having a period ?////?/?/
  • You’re forced to go to school/work
  • You get told that you’re overreacting

but ya know, fixing your dick discreetly in public is bad too